When I started writing, I wrote as I spoke to my friends. That was great for dialogues but not so much to convey my story. It read too much as a 6th grader in elementary school transitioning to middle school writing. The idea was there but the execution needed work.
I’m also Latina and we tend to add a lot flowers to our writing. Meaning I had a lot of unnecessary descriptions when simple action words could’ve suffice to add that vivid imagery punch to my writing.
Good Example 1: I wake up in the morning look outside my window and saw the shinning sun.
Better Example 1: The bright morning sun shined through my window.
Good Example 2: He was about to kiss me and I felt goosebumps all over my body.
Better Example 2: His lips hovered over mine sending shivers through my skin.
No need to state that you woke up or looked outside your window or saw the sun. The word bright and shine automatically gives the reader an insight of the time of day. The window portion paints the picture that you’re either besides the window, in front of the window, or laying in bed ready for the day or not ready for the day for some people. The point is that less description lets the reader fill in the gaps. If that sentence was taken from a paragraph in your book then the reader would use context clues to imagine the character in the motions of the scene.
The same concept goes for the second example. Dissect your writing to avoid sticky words and unnecessary wording. The terms was, about to, felt, all, over, and sometimes my are some sticky words to avoid in your writing.
In both example 2, the sentence was short, straight to the point, and effectively descriptive.
Read books in your genre, do some research, and take notes (mental & written).
The best way to surpass the good writing work is to immerse yourself in reading better writing. Know your strengths and weaknesses embrace your weakness as a learning tool and enhance your strength by reinforcing your writing.